The Bureau of Records is a fictional agency, founded in 1957, to document living units as the gloriously defective machinery they truly are. Dogs came first. People, and any other subject that arrives without instructions, are next in line.
Every manual on file treats its subject as malfunctioning vintage equipment: deadpan operating instructions, patent style illustrations, and field tested specifications that no manufacturer would stand behind. The findings are consistent across all units tested. Nothing is broken. It simply shipped this way.
Anna Log is the self-appointed Chief Archivist. When not cataloguing factory installed defects, the Archivist can be found offline in British Columbia, Canada, tending a garden, planting fruit trees, and otherwise avoiding further paperwork.
Divisions of Record
Canine Division
Bureau of Canine Mechanical Standards. Six manuals filed. All units declared adorable.
Open · 06 on fileHuman Division
First file incoming: Customer on Hold. Please remain on the line.
Incoming · 01 fileFeline Division
Clearance pending. The subject has not agreed to be filed.
Clearance pendingOccupational Division
Files on are not yet available.
ClassifiedFamily Division
Files on are not yet available.
ClassifiedStanding Orders
The unit simply shipped this way. All findings are consistent across units tested.
The operator is advised to accept the unit as configured.
Every file is filed with a straight face and with affection for its subject.
Case History
- 1957The Bureau is founded. Its founding documents have since been misplaced.
- 2026 · Canine DivisionSix units filed: French Bulldog, Golden Retriever, German Shepherd, Dachshund, Labrador Retriever, Poodle.
- 2026 · Field ReportsThree supplementary Kindle files on a Dachshund’s covert observations.
- Next · Human DivisionCustomer on Hold is in processing. The estimated wait is not available.
Request Clearance
One email per release. First access to each new manual and every new issue of equipment.