THE BUREAU
OPERATING MANUALS FOR DOGS, HUMANS AND OTHER UNITS IN SERVICE
Every subject has a file. Every file has a fault.
Each manual is a declassified technical document. It describes a living unit as if it arrived without instructions. The Bureau has reviewed every known malfunction and found them all to be adorable. Clearance level: public.
THE ARCHIVE
FIELD MANUALS · 07 ON FILE
No. FB-001
FRENCH BULLDOG
CLEARANCE: PUBLIC
Technical specifications for a compact unit with a snore rated above its weight class.
No. GR-002
GOLDEN RETRIEVER
CLEARANCE: PUBLIC
A unit of unrestricted optimism. Operational warning: contact with tennis balls.
No. GS-003
GERMAN SHEPHERD
CLEARANCE: PUBLIC
High-performance supervision unit. Reports on household activity without being asked.
No. DX-004
DACHSHUND
CLEARANCE: PUBLIC
Long-range unit with a low centre of gravity and strong opinions about blankets.
No. LB-005
LABRADOR RETRIEVER
CLEARANCE: PUBLIC
Heavy-duty enthusiasm unit. Fuel consumption: all available.
No. PD-006
POODLE
CLEARANCE: PUBLIC
Precision-engineered unit with a standing appointment at the groomer.
No. CQ-001
CUSTOMER ON HOLD
CLEARANCE: PUBLIC
Permanently queued unit. Operational warning: your call is important.
No. MA-002
MEETING ATTENDEE
A Declassified Guide to Your Could-Have-Been-an-Email Unit. Currently in review.
CLEARANCE: PENDING ■■■
Field Reports
Operation: Small Passenger
A Dachshund's Top Secret Field Reports on Grandma's Other Dog.
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What the Bureau does
The Bureau of Records documents living units in the language of a 1957 government manual. Dogs, people, and any other subject that arrives without instructions.