ARCHIVE / FIELD MANUALS / LABRADOR RETRIEVER
THE LABRADOR RETRIEVER MANUAL
FILE No. LB-005 · CLEARANCE: PUBLIC · BUREAU OF CANINE AFFAIRS
The Labrador Retriever ships without an intake limiter. Field records indicate the unit will accept, sample, or attempt to swallow any object that fits the aperture, and several that do not.
Thirty confirmed system faults are documented within, each measured, illustrated, and logged in unnecessary detail. Highlights include a vocabulary limited to variations of the word food, a tail assembly that clears tables and shins with equal enthusiasm, an unscheduled deployment sequence triggered by any nearby body of water, and a maturity clock that never advances past year one.
The unit will also self-certify as lap sized regardless of mass. No repair is recommended. The operator is advised to accept the unit as configured.
FORMAT
6 × 9 in · paperback / hardcover
MODULES
30 × FIG.
SERIES
The Analog Archive
STATUS
DECLASSIFIED
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